Multiple Novice!

We have all been given very good advice but one never follows them when put to the test. For me I had to rely on books and the internet because there was noone in my immediate circle who had ever had twins. My first few days home cannot be described with one word because there were so many issues that I had to contend with.

First, I had to leave my girls at the hospital for two days. This was a very emotionally draining experience because although I knew they were alive, I felt otherwise because I was leaving the hospital with an empty womb and no babies.

Second, I was going home a baby myself in need of a babysitter. I was in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally. It was hard for me to accept help from anyone to do the most basic task but I had to swallow my pride when I could not take the first step to rise from my bed.Giving someone control of me was one of the hardest thing I had to do during my recovery process.

Third, I had to deal with going back and forth to the hospital for feeding and bonding. As much as I looked forward to it, I dreaded the times when I had to leave. I was also in so much pain because I did not take my medications when I went to see them because I wanted to be alert.Thank God they only spent two days.

Their first night home was a very joyous occasion for me because now I had babies.My aunt was here and I felt more comfortable with her than I did with my other caregiver.Even though I was in need of care myself I felt I had to have the reigns about the girls care so I stayed awake longer than I should and I took my medication only when the pain became unbearable.I look back and see what I could have done differently but I would not change it if I had to do it over.

---Kadie.

The baby slept all night!

I remember getting home with Jaedon, settling in and going to bed,well, wanting to. First, let's hope the baby would go to sleep. At 2 days old, he did sleep quite a bit, just not all in one shot. Aha! Finally, he's asleep. I put him in his bassinet....on his belly, or on his back? the books say on his back.... let's try that. Wahhh! His arms shoot out to the sides, his legs stiffen. OK, that didn't work. Walk, walk, walk,...he's asleep. Let's wait a bit. Ok, let's put him down. Maybe on his side this time. Ahhh! He's still sleeping. I head over to my bed and try to settle in for the night. It took me a while to find a comfortable spot, to quite my mind. It has been an eventful 2 days, with sonogram, hospital stays, induction.... I'm not sure if I had been asleep a minute when .."Eh, Eh, Eh....Waaahh!!!" I get him, put him on the breast. To prevent jaundice, he should be fed every 90 monutes. In 10 minutes, he's sleeping again. It's now 1 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. I had a sinking feeling, a premonition of things to come.

Ok, so now I know how to put him down, I put him in his bassinet and get into bed. My body relaxes and I sigh in relief as the quiet continues. But the red light from the digital clock is bothering me. I throw a shirt over it. Sleep, at last. Then, "Eh, Eh, Eh, Wa, Waaah!" It was exactly 90 minutes from the last feeding, 2:30am, and 15 minutes of sleep under my belt!

This continued until morning when my darling husband woke up, looked at the sleeping baby in the bassinet and exclaimed, " The baby slept all night!" A description of my thoughts in that moment are for another posting.

Reflections of a New Parent

Welcome to the wonderful world of "newbie" parenting. Take a walk with me...

You have come home from the hospital with that cushy, little bundle in your arms and feeling zero percent capable of keeping the perfect little one alive for more than a day. Well, maybe, you were more confident than I was that first day. Surely, I thought, there was no way that my child could survive if I closed my eyes for longer than 30 seconds, so I didn’t - for more than those thirty allowable seconds.

Very soon I figured out that, at the very least, I had to eat. After all, I couldn’t breastfeed without having fully nourished myself, right? Yeah, I know, that should be easy because I could take the baby to the kitchen with me. Then again….no….because, God forbid, that in my drudged state I forget to turn the stove off, or I spill something that causes a fire and I am too groggy to react quickly enough; the baby would surely die from smoke inhalation. Nope! Absolutely, no eating was allowed.

Oh, and what about taking a shower? I had to do that! After being in the hospital for one too many days: cringing quite often at sharing a shower which one too many people had used, I was longing for the frills of my clean, warm and cozy bathroom. Hmmmhhmmm. That thought, however, was short lived. Since I wasn’t able to figure out how to eat, how exactly I was going to figure out taking a shower.

Well, after the first few months of barely surviving, having ignored all the great advice of friends and family, not to mention all the thousands of books and articles I read on preparing for my newborn, I was fully converted. Too cranky from having very little sleep, too hungry from having very little food, too dirty from having too few showers, I finally asked my mom to prepare a meal for me. I allowed someone else (Dad) to look at the child (without closing their eyes for thirty seconds, of course) so that I could sleep for a few hours, because there must be somebody else in the world that has done this before and knows how to look after a baby.

For goodness sake, don’t be like me! You cannot do it on your own. Ask your family and friends for help, especially, those first few weeks after the baby is born. They expect you to. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child.