Multiple Novice!

We have all been given very good advice but one never follows them when put to the test. For me I had to rely on books and the internet because there was noone in my immediate circle who had ever had twins. My first few days home cannot be described with one word because there were so many issues that I had to contend with.

First, I had to leave my girls at the hospital for two days. This was a very emotionally draining experience because although I knew they were alive, I felt otherwise because I was leaving the hospital with an empty womb and no babies.

Second, I was going home a baby myself in need of a babysitter. I was in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally. It was hard for me to accept help from anyone to do the most basic task but I had to swallow my pride when I could not take the first step to rise from my bed.Giving someone control of me was one of the hardest thing I had to do during my recovery process.

Third, I had to deal with going back and forth to the hospital for feeding and bonding. As much as I looked forward to it, I dreaded the times when I had to leave. I was also in so much pain because I did not take my medications when I went to see them because I wanted to be alert.Thank God they only spent two days.

Their first night home was a very joyous occasion for me because now I had babies.My aunt was here and I felt more comfortable with her than I did with my other caregiver.Even though I was in need of care myself I felt I had to have the reigns about the girls care so I stayed awake longer than I should and I took my medication only when the pain became unbearable.I look back and see what I could have done differently but I would not change it if I had to do it over.

---Kadie.